Girls are too mean to each other (Argumentative Essay)

     Today the stereotype of beautiful bad girls is developing in our time. Like many characters in movies or dramas where there are always beautiful, popular and powerful girls often commit violence against other girls. Where she commits violence for obvious reasons or even not at all. Girls are raised with the belief that they should be gentle and have many friends. Where they will strive to be what their environment wants and be equal to existing standards. To achieve that standard, girls try many ways, one of which is to be the best of the others in friendships. But from my point of view, it is widely seen that girls tend to be more cruel to other girls, rather than being gentle towards others.

     Most of girls’ cruel behavior is caused by social conditions that teach girls to be kind and not to show bad emotions such as anger. As Rachel Simmons (2002) says in her book: “that the ‘good mother’ She reminds young women to silence them selves rather than speak their true feelings, which they come to consider “stupid”, “selfish”, “rude” or just plain irrelevant.” This is why girls do not know how to deal with conflict or hurt feelings in friendships directly. Every daughter needs to express what she feels clearly and in a good way. Because in this case girls do not understand how they should express their bad feelings. As a result, the natural emotions of anger and hurt are transformed into passive-aggressive comments or bad-mouthing other girls behind their backs. 

     Girls see each other as direct competition. Who are abusive will eliminate friends who they feel are not doing something right. Such as, they will talk negatively about the guilty person in the group, ostracize or even alienate her for being inappropriate in their friendships. As a Besag, Valerie (2006) said in her book: “The friendship relation between girls appear unstable and disputatious . Though girls are aware of the fractious nature of their friendship and the process where friends become a enemies at the drop of a hat. ” This happens because there are girls who have feelings of wanting to be in control of the friendship. It could also be because of narcissistic feelings that arise because the ego that exists in him is not fulfilled.

     However, it seems that women are always softer and seem to love each other towards their close friends. Like paying attention or talking softly. Even they don’t seem to have any problems with each other. Another view of these girls occupy a friend so that he is aware and leaves on his own . It is that they do it to protect themselves from fight and argument. They try to avoid the worst that will happen from their friendship if they keep one person who does not have the same goals in the group. They do it, because they don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings if they tell her directly. Furthermore, inhabiting friends until they feel isolated and leaving is not a good way when there is conflict in friendships. As said by Lyn Mikel (2003) in her book: “girl fight with body language and relationship instead of fists and knive”. If we say that inhabiting someone so that he feels released safely and to avoid fight, is not right. Because they will still feel hurt and intimidated by the ways and gestures we do.

     Clearly, I conclude that the girls are too mean to other girls is because they try not to get involved directly through fights in friendship. So they try to ignore and convey their anger only through gazes. However, it does not mean that seeing someone with a contemptuous look and ostracizing someone is the right thing to do. Because this behavior is also included in the cruelty of the girl who accepts it. That’s why Rachel Simmons says that: “girl fight with body language and relationship instead of fists and knives”. The form of fight that girls do is an indirect form that makes the victim feel intimidated by it.

Reference:

Besag, Valerie. Understanding girls’ friendships, fights and feuds: A practical approach to girls’ bullying. McGraw-Hill Education (UK), 2006.

Brown, Lyn Mikel. Girlfighting: Betrayal and rejection among girls. NYU Press, 2003.

Simmons, Rachel. Odd girl out: The hidden culture of aggression in girls. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2002.